


Ladies Who Punch

by Draycevixen



Category: Hark! A Vagrant
Genre: F/F, Yuletide 2015, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 23:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5517242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draycevixen/pseuds/Draycevixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who knew how long you'd get with them before they'd have to leave to crush a super-villain's dreams of world domination or to pick up their dry cleaning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ladies Who Punch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlackEyedGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackEyedGirl/gifts).



As she'd learned the hard way, when meeting a superhero for lunch it was always a good idea to arrive early. Who knew how long you'd get with them before they'd have to leave to crush a super-villain's dreams of world domination or to pick up their dry cleaning. She'd had to take two different cabs and the subway in order to successfully ditch her constant shadow but she'd left her apartment on the early side to compensate. 

It was a beautiful spring day and she'd had just enough time to order herself a coffee and lay out her notebook and spare pencils on the park cafe's table when Wonder Woman arrived, striding gracefully through the crowd, paying no heed at all to the gawkers. Lois had to restrain the urge to gawk herself, she was magnificent.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you in person, Miss Lane."

"Please, call me Lois, Miss..." She couldn't bring herself to say 'Miss Woman' and nothing else seemed appropriate. 

"Diana will do just fine, Lois." 

Wonder Woman took the seat across from her, gracefully crossing her legs. 

Hell, she was an award winning reporter, she better be able to come up with some other way to describe Wonder Woman than just 'graceful.' 

"I'm sorry, I was early and as I wasn't sure if you'd be delayed by an emergency, I went ahead and ordered coffee. I thought we'd have lunch later." She gestured for the waiter who couldn't get to their table fast enough. "What would you like, Diana?"

"The same, please, black."

Wonder Woman smiled at the waiter who wasn't half as quick to leave but finally did so much to Lois's great relief. She really didn't want to share that smile with anyone else. 

"What brings you to our fair city, Diana?"

"Batman wants to introduce me to the rest of the Justice League."

Lois made a note. "I heard you have a new game plan, to go back to fighting Nazis. We live in the modern age, it's almost 1960, is it really relevant now given the current problems America is facing?"

Wonder Woman seemed distracted, focused on something behind Lois. "Don't look now but there's a strange man lurking in the bushes."

Apparently two cabs and a long subway ride hadn't been enough. She should have gone for dark glasses and a trench coat. It always worked in the movies. 

"Are you sure he's not a _Super_ -man, Diana? He's damn strange." 

"Come to think of it, that does appear to be the edge of a cape sticking out the bottom of his coat."

Lois turned all the way around in her seat to lock eyes with Superman who was staring at her through a gap between the bushes. She sighed heavily and waved him over to join them. 

He threw off his trench coat and dark glasses, obviously he found time to go to the movies, and strode over to join them, the sunlight gleaming off the oil slick of Brylcreem in his hair. 

"Why Lois, I never expected to run into you here."

"Sit down, you're embarrassing me."

Superman slid into the seat between them, turning so his shoulder blocked Wonder Woman while he talked as if only Lois could hear him. "Who's your friend?"

Wonder Woman bristled. "You don't recognize me?"

Superman turned to slowly look her over. "Swimsuit, heels... I'm guessing Esther Williams?" He rested his chiseled chin on his chiseled hands. "What's Ricardo Montalbán really like?" 

"You ass, I'm Wonder Woman." 

Wonder Woman pushed his elbows out from under him and if it hadn't been for his quick reflexes Superman's big fat chiseled head would have hit the table. 

Superman sat farther back in his chair. Perhaps he was smarter than he looked. "I've heard about you of course. You're just not what I was expecting."

"In what way?" Wonder Woman's expression could have given Mr. Freeze a run for his money.

"Well... That outfit for starters." Superman gestured vaguely in Wonder Woman's direction."Isn't that uncomfortable to run in? What if you have a costume failure? You know." Superman gestured vaguely at the top of Wonder Woman's costume, cupping his hands. 

Wonder Woman poked Superman hard in the chest. "You're the one in tights, mister. Didn't your mother teach you that your shorts go on the inside, _under_ your pants?"

Superman's face screwed up in a very unattractive manner, showing Lois just how hard he was struggling to come up with a retort. ""I see you brought your clothesline with you."

"That's my Lasso of Truth." Wonder Woman's finger became a fist curled into the fabric of Superman's top.

Lois might get one hell of a front page story out of this, headlined 'Wonder Woman kills Superman with his own Ego,' but for the public good she should at least try to break it up. 

"Can't you tell this is a private lunch, Superman?"

He turned to her with his best kicked puppy dog look. "You never seem to mind when I drop by."

She only managed to resist rolling her eyes because she didn't want to appear petty in front of Wonder Woman. "I always mind unless something's on fire, there's a kitten stuck on a ledge or I need a quick flight to avoid rush hour traffic." She held up one finger to stop whatever Superman was about to say in response while turning her attention back to Wonder Woman. 

"How do you deal with the male superheroes? Does their attitude ever get to you?"

"They can't help it, they're only men after all. Their dicks get in the way of their brains though you'd think, given how small they are, it wouldn't be a problem." 

Superman crossed his legs, trying to look casual about doing so.

"Do you actually enjoy working with any of them?" If she couldn't have Wonder Woman perhaps at least she could trade Superman in for someone better.

Wonder Woman looked pensive. "Well, Batman's not that bad. He's so busy torturing himself I don't have to and he listens to me, well as much as he listens to anyone."

"He never listens to me." Superman was actually pouting.

"You have to make sense." Wonder Woman stared him down. "And not shill for J. Edgar Hoover."

"Only someone un-American would be against Hoover."

"You're no more an American than I am, Superman."

"You don't know my real identity." He crossed his arms. 

Wonder Woman smirked. "Superman isn't your real identity?"

"Don't put words in my mouth."

"Why not? It's big enough."

Superman stood up abruptly, looming over both of them. "Lois, we're leaving."

"I'm not doing anything of the kind." She stared intently at her notepad. "Goodbye, Superman. Say hi to Clark for me."

Lois' hair whipped around her face from the sudden gust of air caused by Superman's abrupt departure. 

"He drives me mad, always interrupting me with his 'Cooie! Lois!' just when I'm about to get a scoop."

"How do you stand it?" Wonder Woman moved into the chair vacated by Superman.

"If you knew Clark Kent or Lex Luthor you'd understand why I put up with him..." A heavy sigh escaped her lips. "Like they say, the odds are good, but the goods are odd."

"They'd have to be for you to take that big galoot seriously."

"Well, he is bullet proof."

"That's a great pity." Wonder Woman's eyes narrowed.

"I just meant men tend to have a short life expectancy in Metropolis."

"There are other options." Wonder Woman ran her fingers through Lois' hair, smoothing it down for her before slowly withdrawing her hand. 

Lois was proud of herself for not actually purring under Diana's sure touch. 

"Did you know I'm a little telepathic, Lois?"

"I do now." Lois cocked an eyebrow, waiting for a response to her unspoken question. 

Diana's smile was breathtaking. "The Justice League can wait."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] ladies who punch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12667206) by [duckgirlie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/duckgirlie/pseuds/duckgirlie)




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